Everyone wants to change the world, but no body wants to wash the dishes...

Abstract from the FLY 2025 Finale Speech

The other morning while sending my teenage daughters to school, Siena told me a story about her classmate, Saffy - how she is a vegetarian.

At first, I didn’t think much of it. I assumed that Saffy must be an Indian girl from a vegetarian household because of her culture or religion.

But Siena stopped me. 

She said Saffy is not an Indian - she’s the white girl she’s been telling me about. Accusing me of never paying enough attention, while giving me more specifics of who she is and details about the sister who performed as Elsa in one of the school musicals that I met before…

A white vegetarian teenager? Now, that’s a bit unusual. I thought.

And Siena went on to say something even more surprising; Saffy wasn’t born vegetarian, she turned vegetarian and she was the one who convinced the entire family to follow.

Naturally, the skepticism in me kicked in. I assumed it was another momentary “white family social experiment,” going all-out to support their child.

So I asked Siena, “how long has Saffy and the whole family been a vegetarian?”

Siena said, since 2021.

Now that got my full attention.

And I asked, why did Saffy become vegetarian in the first place?

Accordingly, back in 2021, Saffy entered into a war of words debate, arguing against animal cruelty. She talked about how inhumane it is to kill animals for food. And the deeper she researched for her thesis, the more she realised this wasn’t just another school assignment. It was an issue she needed to stand behind.

Saffy told Siena it was her teammates who did most of the research, sharing with her videos of slaughterhouses and battery farms, while she was the one who helped win the debate as the main speaker. Even Maisha (this friend I remember), attest to what a powerful performance it was. 

So I asked Siena, what about the other teammates? Did they turn vegetarian? 

Just as Siena was about to continue, Alannah, my second daughter, added cheekily that if she had been on the debate team, there wouldn’t have been any meat left to discuss as she would have eaten it all before the debate even started.

And won! 

Of course, I thought to myself. To win a debate, all you need is your swift oratory skill, quick thinking and an advanced understanding on the subject through your research. You don’t need to quit your meat. 

What Saffy has won that day is more than a just debate. She won the solidarity and support of her entire family. And more importantly, she won the respect that she has for herself that very few people can claim, let alone comprehend. That is how you build trust in yourself. This is how you build self confidence. 

Part of the aspiration of our FLY program is to help our students instill a sense of confidence in themselves. If I can be honest with you, that is an impossible task to achieve. Self confidence is never something anyone can instill in you. It has to come from within. It can only be gained by keeping the promise you made to yourself, drip by drip, time after time. 

I do not need to meet Saffy to know this about her. She is more mentally tough and confident in herself than almost any other person inside and outside of her peers. 

As I dropped my girls off, I found myself thinking about the many layers to Saffy's story. 

From a parenting perspective, I wondered;

Would I have sacrificed my steaks for my kids’ school project? 

What is the cause and effect that creates someone like Saffy? 

Her own conviction?

Her natural charisma to influence and convince? 

Or a support system that nurtures a child with that level of courage?

That’s a thesis for another day.

As we embark into the final lesson of 2026’s FLY program today, I hope you will reflect on the lesson of Saffy’s story with me. 

What does it take to influence a family, or even a group of people to follow you? 

Is it some clever statistics or brilliant powerpoint presentation? 

Or is it the courage to take the first step… to refuse the meat on the table… to walk the talk?

What does it take to be a leader? 

Is it by holding to the title of being the head of the family? 

Or is it being the one that sets an example, without a rank or position? 

And what does it take to make a real impact in the world?

A grand launching ceremony and big campaign? Or tiny personal commitments, one baby step at a time? 

While I am still trying to figure out who exactly this Saffy and who’s the sister that played Elsa in the school play that my Siena was talking about, her story has already inspired me and impacted all of us today.

Saffy’s story is the reason why we ditched our original plan to have a panel discussion for a debate today. 

With the debate focusing on the pressing issue of our day:

Social Media Rights for our youth, Climate Change vs Economy and whether or not we should allow the use of AI for our home work at school? 

More than the who is the winner for today’s debate, this is what I wonder:

Would the team arguing for banning social media end up quitting enslaving themselves to social media and reclaim their own freedom?

What actions will the team arguing for a greener Brunei take to tackle climate change? 

And what will come out of the next generations if schools begin to integrate AI for student’s homework?

Ideas have power, to shift perspectives, to transform the world, if not, a person’s world. 

As you carry with you Saffy’s story to reflect onwards, I want to leave you today with a little quote to think about by Dorothy Day:

Everybody wants to change the world, but nobody wants to wash the dishes.

May the seeds planted in the FLY Platform take root and grow in you. As you go about changing the world with your big ideas and aspirations, may you pursue your dreams with Saffy’s sturdy reminder that, you will also fall in love with cleaning the dishes.